23: Understanding Your Relationship with Drugs and Alcohol

Steven Ginsburg: 0:00

so many times, what starts out as very casual use ends up into very, very detrimental, very horrific abuse.

Steve Coughran: 0:08

This is the Addiction Recovery podcast with Steven T Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in sunny California. Enjoy your experience. All right, before you go any further into this episode, hit the pause button, navigate to our website RestoreDetoxCenters. com. We just launched a brand new assessment that you could take. It just takes a few minutes and you can understand your relationship with drugs and alcohol. It's going to be really helpful to take this assessment before this podcast episode, because that's what we're talking about here today is understanding your relationship with drugs and alcohol. So hit pause and then come back to us. So, Steven, here's a question about understanding your relationship with drugs and alcohol. Was there a certain point back in the day when you had issues that you started to think, man, maybe I have an addiction problem? Or like, how did that come about?

Steven Ginsburg: 1:04

It's a great question, Steve, and thank you for doing your part and starting to chart the course where people can really navigate this very delicate issue. For myself, when I really draw back into the inception of my addiction or my alcoholism from a very early age, one of the things that stood out to me, where I had a narrative going, was the fact that I noticed almost immediately that I was using daily and that was very consistent and that daily use and that almost instant need, if you would. That really stood out to me even very early on, especially with my marijuana use.

Steve Coughran: 1:49

Yeah, and that's interesting because a lot of people are like, oh, marijuana, it's not addictive, it's a very safe drug to take off. But I remember when I was smoking weed. It's the same thing. You smoke weed, it's like oh, that's kind of fun, that's cool to do it on a Friday night and then maybe get together with your friends again. You do it on a Saturday, but Sunday you're like okay, I'm not going to do it tonight because I got to work tomorrow.

Steve Coughran: 2:12

But then you start getting into that and you're like okay, well, work was really tough, I'm going to smoke weed again and then might as well just do it again tomorrow. And then next thing, you know, you're basically smoking weed every single day. And when I realized like, oh my gosh, I have a problem was when it was like a Friday night and I ran out of weed and I'm like, oh my gosh, panicked, trying to call everybody I knew to score some weed, and I'm like what the heck, how does this stupid substance have so much control over my life? And that's when I felt like I started to lose my freedom to something other than myself. I don't know if that makes sense to you and what's your experience with that, Steven.

Steven Ginsburg: 2:53

It completely makes sense to me, it's very relevant, and I believe that misconception about marijuana and just misconception also. Look, we can put a lot of things in that bucket the diet tribe that goes on and condones alcohol use, etc. I think it all relates from the standpoint of people have a relationship with these substances, and the last thing in the world people really should be having is a relationship with substance. We should be relating to one another, relating to our loved ones, relating to our community, relating to our churches and God's word, and instead we're focusing on our relationship and our ability to navigate and balance our relationship with the substance. Why? Because there's some emptiness or something that's Bothering us or hurting us or hindering us. Instead of dealing with it on life's terms, or processing to or through it, or being transparent or being vulnerable, we are trying to find a band-aid or band-aid and fix it, and the fix often ends up being much, much worse than whatever minor issue is ailing with us. So that's my long version of yes, absolutely.

Steve Coughran: 4:10

And let me touch on what you just talked about, this metaphor for having a relationship with drugs and alcohol. I mean think about a toxic person in your life. I mean just think about it. I mean we all have toxic people from time to time in our lives. Hopefully we could get rid of them at some point because it's not good for us. But think about that person. I mean they make us feel bad, they isolate us, they. They do all these terrible things to tear us down, to bring us down to their level in drugs and alcohol. I think are very similar. I mean, think about drugs and alcohol is for me, when I was drinking or smoking weed often times is like I just want to do it by myself and I would, I would isolate and I want to have these relationships with my friends. I say, yeah, you guys go out, I'm just going to hang out at home because I wanted to be together with this drug and I think that could be a very dangerous thing and a very dangerous path to go down Absolutely.

Steven Ginsburg: 5:06

I think it's a, it's a very dysfunctional toxic partner, to your point, I think it causes, brings on and reaps trauma and then it just becomes a matter of what degree that trauma is going to affect you and what level that's all going to go. And so many times what starts out as a very casual use ends up into very, very detrimental, very horrific abuse and those two will never meet and from there there's really no upside to any of it All the way around, and you and I could spend hours and hours on this. But any which way you cut it, when the unmanageability rears its ugly head and the toxicity of the substance starts to dominate your life, and when it starts to cause that trauma is time to figure out a way to get some help.

Steve Coughran: 5:52

Yeah, I agree, and I already know the answer to this, but let me just say it for the audience, or ask it for the audience how much do you love your wife, steven? Yes, are you doing the answer? I did know.

Steven Ginsburg: 6:06

That's, that's for sure, a question you know the answer to . She is the love and the light of my life and I and I knew I was going to marry Nicole the day I laid eyes on her, and I'm so grateful, lord, that he would see fit to allow me to ruin her life and be her husband. She is one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me in the whole wide world.

Steve Coughran: 6:26

Yeah, you guys are such an amazing couple and I remember last time I was in California and we were leaving group and we were doing some photo shoots around the house and it's getting a little bit later and we were driving home and I remember in the car like I can't wait to get home to see my wife and I was telling you the same thing. I'm like I love my wife too. I love spending time with her. I mean, they're like working working hours, spending time with my family and my wife. I love spending time with her, which is like the greatest thing in the world. And when you relate that to drugs and alcohol, like how you feel about your wife, like you want to be around her. Why? Because she like makes feel good, right.

Steve Coughran: 7:02

Yes absolutely 100% and she brings out the best in you and she encourages you and she pushes you and all these things. And sure, like, at first people may think oh yeah, you know, drinking by myself it's like really fun, like I want to come home to a bottle of booze because it like makes me feel great. But then this last Monday I came into work after the weekend and I overheard some colleagues talking and they're like oh yeah, you know, like I definitely need to go drive for a few days. I, you know I was drinking a lot this weekend and to me it's kind of ironic because you know you and I want to spend all the time that we can with our wives, because you know the things I just mentioned.

Steve Coughran: 7:43

So you know you have a problem with drugs and alcohol, or you know that drugs and alcohol are bad when you have to like discipline yourself to abstain from them. Like this guy knew that it was a bad thing and that's why he's saying man, I need to take a little bit of a break. But then still, our culture is like oh yeah, it's like the best thing. Or we high five each other, yeah, so hungover on Saturday, and it's like oh dude, that's so cool and like that's not cool. Like you're sick, like you have feels, like you have the flu and you're celebrating that. Like why? I don't know, I just don't get it.

Steven Ginsburg: 8:17

I think there's such an that's such an apropos point and you and I are both extremely blessed for our matrimony and our life and is concerned and our love and our life with our families. And then you know to go a step further, because I love what you're on, steve, right here with this topic. You know, think about the time that people miss with their loved ones. Or maybe they are physically present with their children or their spouse or their family, but emotionally, spiritually and physically they're so banged up from substance abuse and use and even though they're physically present, they're really not there and those times are gone forever. You can't get those moments back. And it's interesting that we're on this.

Steven Ginsburg: 9:03

There was a situation yesterday with our daughter. You know, she just wasn't feeling 100% and what was so great, and I was in the middle of my home group meeting for AA and she texted me and what I loved is I love that my 12 year old, who's only ever known me sober, knows that like she can turn to her father anytime and like I'm either going to figure out how to get her set up and taken care of or, if I'm not going to be able to figure out how to get her set up and taken care of. Somebody's going to be able to set her up and take care of, but she knows she can rely on her father and that is a direct gift and byproduct of sobriety.

Steve Coughran: 9:37

Yeah, yeah. Because if you were who you were, you know, years ago, when you're in like the depths of, you know, addiction, you're totally unreliable, right, you're flaky, you're not around, you're not present. And imagine if you had kids and all that.

Steven Ginsburg: 9:51

I mean it'd be terrible, but like your kids love you and adore you because you are emotionally available to them, I see so much of people missing out and having so much remorse and so much regret, and I see so many children who are just longing for their parents' time and love and substance use and substance abuse has taken that all away and that's the saddest part about what's not being set out loud and it's also the saddest part about these false perceptions and conceptions that these drug and alcohol companies offer. You know there's more and more marijuana dispensaries, alcohol is everywhere, media is everywhere and people are getting tsunamied and marketed to and pushed and, believe you me, they are preparing for their future generations. They know they've got the adults, they know they've got those aged generations and now they're after our kids. And that's where we've got to set the bar in this watching world and set the positions and what our stands are going to be via our conduct today.

Steve Coughran: 10:54

Yeah, I absolutely agree. I mean, we have to be on guard and we have to be diligent in this area. So if you're listening to this and you're wondering, okay, do I have a problem with drugs and alcohol? What's my relationship really with drugs and alcohol, that's where you could take that assessment and that's why I mentioned that at the very beginning of this podcast. Make sure you go there, check it out. Like I said, it only takes a couple minutes. It's really easy to do on your phone. You can do it on your computer or whatever device you have, but go to RestoreDetoxCenterscom if you want to take that and learn more about your relationship. Steven, great talking to you today. I always love these conversations.

Steven Ginsburg: 11:29

Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it's another tool in place to help people to really take a vulnerable, transparent look at what's going on in their lives, and I'd be remiss in not mentioning this. It definitely lends itself to one of the foundational phrases that I believe in where all this is concerned we are only ever as sick as our secrets. We've got to face that truth and face the reality of what we are dealing with and how we're dealing with it, and just know this anyone out there listening there is hope, there is a solution today and there's a better way.