37: I Can Grow Through What I Go Through

Steven Ginsburg: 0:00

Give yourself grace, give yourself the time. Realize we are in a marathon, people. Through your darkest moments comes your greatest moment.

Steve Coughran: 0:08

This is the Addiction Recovery Podcast with Steven T Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in sunny California. Enjoy your experience, steven. I was listening to something the other day on YouTube and this guy was talking and he's like hey, sometimes we pray to God and we ask for obstacles or challenges or struggles or pain, whatever it may be the discomfort in life to be removed. And he said oftentimes God says no, like no, I'm not going to remove that, because I want you to grow from this experience and I think for God and I think for a higher power or whoever you believe in. You know the universe. Whatever you consider, you know this higher power in your life. I believe there are situations that were put in and there are trials and tribulations that we must go through, because growth is more important than our comfort. What are your thoughts on that?

Steven Ginsburg: 1:08

Well, first of all, I love that and thank you, and I want to pay homage to where this talking point is coming from today. I just literally today, so we're in real time. Brother was in group and a gentleman who is visiting us for group was in group and a gentleman who is visiting us for group just came in. He's an industry professional, came in to sit in on group and he said to me and us during group, what I go through is what I grow through. And I'm like, oh, I love that.

Steven Ginsburg: 1:37

I immediately wrote it down in our notes and then I turned right to you and I'm like, hey, I want to talk on this today. So thank you to my dear friend Garrison for the beautiful words. I will take it and better the world for it in whatever way that you and I can through this platform. And it's something I just inherently, inherently believe in our experience, strength and hope, the fact that we do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it that is what delivers us, that is what liberates us. We do not have to be the victim of our history, nor do we have to repeat our history. Our old tapes don't define who we are or who we're becoming. They define who we were and we have this opportunity to pivot and to take that very, very dark situation and have it become that sunlight of the spirit and to grow immensely through our trials and tribulations.

Steve Coughran: 2:39

Yeah, so what do I mean, what do you think is meant from that statement? I love that statement, by the way, but what types of thoughts and conversations were had based on this topic today?

Steven Ginsburg: 2:51

Really, I think where it was really hitting home for myself and really for everyone, was the fact that we've been through these monumental pitfalls in our lives, that we've been through these monumental pitfalls in our lives We've had. There's so many different traumas that amass and suddenly the only thing that seems to help the pain to subside is drug abuse and alcohol abuse, and really categorically by facing the fear and allowing that faith to come in and by getting that wreckage out in the open with another individual. And then here's the tough part. And then we look at our part in it and then we realize there may be a place where we have to make some amends. For our part in it, we're able to clear away that wreckage of our past through what we've gone through, and then we're able to perpetuate growth and not repeat that cycle. And there's the growth through and suddenly we are living a day at a time in the solution.

Steve Coughran: 3:52

I love that. No, and I can relate to this, and I'm sure you can relate to this as well, steven. Like in the past, I've gone through some terrible times and when I was in those dark, dark days, I thought, oh my gosh, how am I going to ever get through this? And I just wanted the pain to go away. But in retrospect, I'm knocking on wood right now as I'm speaking into my podcast microphone, because it's not like I want bad things and trials and tribulations to come my way per se, but anytime I look back in the past, these dark days, I've always grown so much in these periods of my life and, yeah, looking back, I'm thankful. At the time, yeah, maybe I wasn't as grateful for these experiences, but what about you? What? How does this relate to some things you've experienced?

Steven Ginsburg: 4:42

I could have every genie in a bottle, every magic wand in the world. First of all, the Lord would not want me to, nor allow me to, change a thing. It's the summary of all those experiences that allowed me to be part of the solution in my own life and in other people's lives. But I am so grateful for all of it. It's easy to talk about now, in hindsight. It's easy to talk about now that we're past the event horizon of those occasions. And I remember look, look, all I was doing was long form, slow suicide. That's what I was doing, that's what I was living.

Steven Ginsburg: 5:19

I am grateful for all of that, and that's not to sound morbid. I'm grateful because where it landed me and how I was delivered and the way I was saved put me in a way of life that is beyond my wildest dreams, it is beyond any expectation I could have ever had or set or prescribed for myself. And it helps me realize is, through that trial and tribulation, through that trauma, something beautiful occurred out of it. Because why? Because, while I was willing to own my part, take care of my part and do the footwork to get into the solution, and I want everyone. It's a broad stroke, steve. But I want everyone to be able to step back and realize that darkest before the dawn that's real and there is hope and there is something better waiting.

Steven Ginsburg: 6:06

We've got to have courage and have faith and lean on our faith and realize the best is yet to come. You don't want to leave before the miracle. The miracle is coming, but we must do our part. So I just, I am a believer in it. I don't want anyone to suffer. I want everything to be perfect for everyone. Well, guess what? That's not what's going to happen, like in this world. We're going to have trouble, but this whole deal has been overcome through a gracious Lord and savior has overcome the world. There's something better waiting for all of us, but we've got to do our part and have that faith and keep catching up with it.

Steve Coughran: 6:41

So I mean this growth mindset, Steven, that you're alluding to. Can you think back on a specific period in your life or an example in your life where you changed your mindset? Or maybe you didn't change your mindset, maybe you didn't even have that right mindset, but can you think back on a time where you were like look, okay, this is terrible. I hate this, but I'm going to grow and I'm going to become somebody entirely different and better from this.

Steven Ginsburg: 7:10

Steve, the first year that I was sober again, okay, in 2004,. The first year, my first year back sober. The second time around it was Thanksgiving and I was like I don't know, two weeks, sober, Okay. And I was like I don't know, two weeks sober, Okay. A new believer.

Steven Ginsburg: 7:29

Two weeks sober Thanksgiving, completely like broke. They don't even have a word for that, for where I was at, no family, no friends. You know I had done a lot of damage. I did the damage, the wreckage was mine and I was alone. I ordered a pizza which I could barely afford and sat there eating a pizza two weeks over. And I just remembered the tears and I was like, yes, here's where I am today, If I don't pick up a drink or drug today, behind this pain, and I continue to make it through this day Thanksgiving, minute by minute, moment by moment, and I wake up tomorrow, the day after Thanksgiving, a day at a time, and continue to propel my life ahead and I stay sober.

Steven Ginsburg: 8:13

The best is yet to come and I remember that, like it was two minutes ago and it wasn't, it was almost the better part of almost 20 years ago. But that is my truth. That is the truth I can't begin to tell you the beautiful Thanksgivings and other days I've had, filled with love, laughter, integrity, family, friends, because I maintained my sobriety through that moment, that bleak moment. So you took me right back there when you asked your question.

Steve Coughran: 8:44

No, I love that. Yeah, and I've I mean, I've experienced similar difficulties, just like you listening to this right now. I mean you're probably thinking, yeah, I can totally relate. But what's interesting in life is I was reading this the other day If we fail 10 times in a row, say we try to do something and we just fail over and over again, we could look at that like, oh my gosh, I'm a failure, I'm a total loser. See, I told you like none of like stuff doesn't work out for me, like I'm just a victim to my circumstances, whatever. Or we could look at it like dang, we just figured out 10 ways that don't work and now I'm that much closer to a solution. I think you know relating this to that growth mindset. That's just a mindset shift, because some people may look at failure and especially 10 times failing in a row, and be like I'm done, I'm done. This is not for me. Obviously it doesn't work. I'm not smart enough, I'm not cute enough, I'm not fast enough, I'm not strong enough, I'm just done, I quit, I give up, I tried it 10 times. It doesn't work. But I think if you shift your mindset and you say, look, yeah, I failed, I hate failing, I don't like failing, but, man, I'm so much closer to that yes and to that opportunity, or to like something that's going to work. The solution, it's just a mindset shift. So I think the same thing can be true with growth.

Steve Coughran: 10:04

You know, oftentimes we go through pain and we can respond in multiple ways. One path is say, wow, this hurts, I don't like it, it's uncomfortable, I'm going to numb it. I'm going to numb it with Netflix. I'm going to numb it with drugs. I'm going to numb it with sex. I'm going to numb it with pornography. I'm going to numb it with something that we believe is going to help us to overcome this pain and somehow, like, break through to a new place in life. But I, it's that very pain. It's that pain, that discomfort, that is propelling us to grow. So how do we reconcile this dichotomy here, steve, with these two things, right, where you know it's pain, we got to go through pain, but we want to numb it. But if we numb it, that leads to addiction and other behaviors and thought. I mean, what are your thoughts on that?

Steven Ginsburg: 10:53

It's where I get baffled, and I want you to know what I mean by that and why. It's the human nature part of it where I get baffled, and I think it's been through my own journey where I've been able to look retrospectively and help share this with others. Like, listen, I didn't blow up my entire world overnight, right? You didn't end up alone in that filthy, empty one-bedroom apartment eating pizza less than two weeks, sober, overnight. That wasn't like. Everything was hunky-dory, you were perfect, you were employed, you were a model citizen, and then suddenly you're alone in that apartment for Thanksgiving, right, steven Ginsburg? No, that's not what happened. That was through a succession and a series of events, through my progressive illness. I suffer from a progressive, not a regressive, a progressive illness that's growing in scope. My point behind sharing that is this. So how on earth could I expect the wheels which I've blown off? There's not even any wheels left. I didn't blow them off overnight. Why do I expect them to put back on overnight? Are you kidding me?

Steven Ginsburg: 11:56

It's a series of living amends. It's a series of footwork. It's a series of cumulative action. It's a series of consistent behaviors. It's a series of learning to live all over again, where what's concerned, everything. And so what do I have to change?

Steven Ginsburg: 12:11

Everything and a day at a time, a meeting at a time, a step at a time, a phone call at a time, a job interview at a time, accountability levels, one at a time, our world starts to become whole again. We start to earn earn credibility again. We start to act with great integrity. Again, we start to tell the truth again. We start to be lovable and be loved again. We start to act with great integrity Again. We start to tell the truth Again. We start to be lovable and be loved again. Please, everyone out there, just like me you're me, I'm you give yourself grace, give yourself the time. Realize we are in a marathon, people, not a sprint. We're in a marathon and it's a long one, but it's only to be done a day, in a moment at a time, and allow yourselves to rebuild and to grow into that spectrum that you're coming to and being delivered to. Through your darkest moments comes your greatest moment.

Steve Coughran: 13:03

Love it. I mean, that's so beautiful, Steven, and I know that you have this growth mindset. I know you talk about growth and, just you know, just thriving at Restore and group, and I'm so glad that this message bubbled up to the surface in today's group session at Restore and that we're able to talk about it further and share it out there with the masses. So I definitely appreciate you, uh, for bringing this up.

Steven Ginsburg: 13:28

Steven, Thank you. These kind of topics, they trigger me and I want to go on long runs and rants because they're disease combative topics. These are disease combative topics. They thwart I like that word because it sounds funny when you say it they thwart the disease and I love camping out on that stuff because people need to lean in and fight that good fight. And how do we win the fight? We surrender. So I am so grateful to you and for you for bringing this up. I want to give a nod out to my buddy Garrison again, Thank you for coming to Restore Today and visiting and throwing that out there. I will be letting you know right away that we grabbed it and ran with it for a topic and if you are out there and you are struggling, know there is hope, know there is a solution and I want everyone, Steve, just to have a safe and sober day. We are here with you and for you and all things.

Steve Coughran: 14:19

What a powerful message I can grow through what I go through. We want to hear from you, though, so send us an email at hello at restore detox centerscom. You can share your thoughts, you can just reach out and provide us feedback on this podcast, and if you have any episode ideas, we'd also love to hear that as well. It would mean the world to us if you share this podcast with your loved ones as well, so you can help us to get the message out there to the masses. Also, if you want to check out resources, we have those available for you at restore detox centerscom, so be sure to check out our website and the little surprises and bonuses that are available there. Steven, great talking to you. Thanks for tuning in and until next episode, take care of yourself. Cheers.