Steven Ginsburg: 0:00

Sobriety is literally a monumental life hack. For what? For life.

Steve Coughran: 0:06

This is the Addiction Recovery Podcast with Steven T Ginsburg, founder of Restore Detox Centers in sunny California. Enjoy your experience, Steven When you're working with people in group at the Restore House and just individually, I'm sure the question comes up I'm sober now what? So let's talk about this, and what does it mean to be sober? What kind of goals do people set? How do you coach them through this entire new process and new lifestyle for them once they do achieve sobriety?

Steven Ginsburg: 0:43

Thank you so much. I really appreciate the talking point and the topic and it's as usual with you and I. We are taking care of things that are relevant to the now where Restore is concerned and what we're dealing with with the community at Restore, and one of the things we are starting to discuss and look at, which I love to discuss and look at, is, you know, now that we are getting people in this process where they're starting to have some stabilization, they're having somewhat of a return to health and they're starting to get into that rhythm, what is a life and a lifestyle of sobriety? What does that look like? What does that feel like?

Steven Ginsburg: 1:20

The really poignant moment where I want to sit with the community and ask them what is it you hope to get out of this? And the obvious things are there as far as family and life preservation, et cetera. But what are the things when it comes down to daring to dream? What are the things when it comes to objectives? What are the things as far as goals and aspirations and hopes? What are those things that are on your heart, without editing, that you would hope to achieve through sobriety? And I love being able to ask that early and being able to look at that together with people, with the team and with the community often because what I found for myself and what I offer to others any list to comprise, any wishlist, any genie in the list it is remarkable how far we will short ourselves compared to what the return is when we have this life in sobriety.

Steve Coughran: 2:21

So and I know this is a super general, broad question here but when people come to Restore to get help on average okay, If you just had to take the average of everybody you deal with, how long do people live in this world of addiction? Like I said, I know it's very, very broad.

Steven Ginsburg: 2:41

No, it's a good question. We can drill down into it. Here's where it's broad. If I've got a 25 year old that I'm helping, maybe they started drinking and drugging when they're nine or 10 or 12 or 15. I've got a 75 year old that I'm helping. Maybe they had their first drink when they were 21. And then there were things that ebbed and flowed. So, depending on the demographic and the age and what have you so, much of that ties into how long they've been at it.

Steven Ginsburg: 3:15

Obviously, one of the other things you've experienced with us at Restore which is why I love what you and I do, because you will be there again and you have been there, coming up to group and being someone who they love to see in the house. Some people have gone through multiple treatment centers before they made it to Restore, or some people are alumni of Restore and they're in a relapse mode. So there's such a vast, to your point. Yes, it's a general stroke, but no matter what the parameter is, Steve, addiction and alcoholism is something that is ingrained into our DNA, cellularly. We are bodily and mentally different than our fellows, and that's the objective of starting to pursue the sobriety Get it. So the response to all things is on a cellular level. In our DNA sobriety program, nothing comes before sobriety. And then again kind of getting back to the point we're working on together and then what are the expectations of what comes behind that? And then helping people realize the blessing of the small things, of the little gains, that's such a gift for the return behind the footwork.

Steve Coughran: 4:29

Yeah, because I mean what I was getting at and to tie back to the original topic is I imagine people come to you and they've been living this lifestyle of addiction for maybe five years, 10 years, 20 years or longer perhaps, and so when you posed the question to me before we started recording, what does sobriety actually look like? I imagine for these people it's almost like a reinvention, a complete rethink of their life, because their everyday patterns and habits oftentimes will probably trigger them, and so you have to eliminate those triggers so they don't fall back into destructive behavior. So walk me through what you say to people and how you mentor people and coach them to rethink their life and to reimagine what it looks like in sobriety.

Steven Ginsburg: 5:19

Very often you'll hear me say to community and I say it for myself first it's a piece of cake, don't worry about anything. The only thing we need to change is what. Everything. And that's what we do. And we have to laugh, not because it's funny or not, because we're making light of it.

Steven Ginsburg: 5:37

Irony brings a laughter of relief. Irony in life brings a laughter of relief. I also think the Holy Spirit brings a laughter of relief and that statement will bring on that laughter of relief because we me, on a daily basis, we must continue to change everything, every approach to every circumstance, every path. The people that we are with and it doesn't mean every person in our life is no longer with us. It means they're with us in a different capacity or they're with us with a precursory knowledge that, hey, my life is different. I want you in it. This is how our life would be if we're going to spend time together and those things start to work out. And again, I love it because it'll dovetail back to what I want to speak with you on today.

Steven Ginsburg: 6:27

Okay, so when we look at the return behind the footwork, when we look at what life looks like and feels like and what we get quote unquote.

Steven Ginsburg: 6:36

What are we going to get behind this footwork where we are not ruining our lives and the lives of others, behind addiction and alcoholism? It's this brand of integrity in our life that we now have, it's the people around us and that who want to be around us in our life that we now have. It's our works, it's our service, it's our ability to put others first that we now have. So this isn't about bank accounts, this isn't about houses, this isn't about cars. It's about, all of a sudden, we find a passion and a hope and a dream and a career path that we would have never dared to pursue and suddenly it's pursuing us. It's because we finally cleared the decks of all this wreckage, and the sky is the limit and the possibilities are infinite. And that's where I want people to tie into that hope and be willing. To be willing because don't miss the ride, and let me tell you, it is a fantastic ride.

Steve Coughran: 7:32

Yeah, and I mean I've hit rock bottom multiple times, just like you in your life and just like others who are listening, and in those moments the first thing is fear, right, because I'm like, oh my gosh, my life is just broken, it's crushed. But then eventually I get to the point where I'm like, wow, it's a blank slate and I can make whatever I want of my life, and it's really exciting and invigorating and that's what helps me to move forward when I'm in these spots in my life. So, when you're talking to people about this new, re-imagined future, living in sobriety, how do you get people excited about the prospect of starting over or being able to design a beautiful life that is whatever they want it to be? Does that make sense?

Steve Coughran: 8:17

Steven as they are sitting there at Restore and they're thinking okay, in a week I'm going back out to the real world and it's scary, and recreating my life, or re-imagining my life and changing these patterns that have been so deeply ingrained in me, is this scary prospect. So how do you flip the script on them and say look, there's an amazing opportunity for you to make your life, whatever ?

Steven Ginsburg: 8:44

There's something, this year especially, that I've really leaned into as far as sharing it with community, because I think it's something I've always known and lived, but I started to take hold of it and want to speak to it and pass it over to others. Being sober, literally, is you know how you will see those things on social media like here's a life hack for your laundry machine, here's a life hack for your paper towels, here's a life hack for your toilet paper. Like it's silly, they have these little life hacks right. They're cool little YouTube videos or whatnot.

Steven Ginsburg: 9:16

Sobriety is literally a monumental life hack. For what? For life? So to instill hope. Well, how, so when, why?

Steven Ginsburg: 9:27

What is it about sobriety, besides the obvious, that gives us this leg up, this advantage, this 20-lap race, and we're 18 laps ahead before we start. What provides that? This gift that we now have of clarity of life on life's terms, of feeling our best and being at our peak, of always understanding where we are, who we are, what we are all about, of always understanding that we can remember from moment to moment what we've said and to whom and why, these moments where we have that much presence, where we're living life on life's terms, where we're not burdened by the hangover or the need to score more drugs. These are propelling us far, far ahead of the rest of quote, unquote society that, on a day-to-day basis, is living within the quagmire of functional drug and alcohol use, whatever that ridiculous term uses. But it's a relevant term and it doesn't make us better than we're, not above. We're not preaching to anyone, but we do have an edge and an angle and we are blessed and chosen for this journey and we are clean and sober and there is something to be said by that.

Steven Ginsburg: 10:46

And one last thing you triggered me, so good job. There was recently a clip I saw. Just I don't know who this guy was, I can't quote him. I don't know who the athlete was. He was a football player. He was a run of the mill sort of semi above average D1 football player. He never drank, he never went out, he never drugged. It was just something he chose to never do and he blew away his teammates who were far, far more athletically gifted than him why?

Steven Ginsburg: 11:18

Because he was always well-rested, he was always well-hydrated, he was always well-prepared, he was always bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to go and it served him well. And he went from a walk-on to a full ride to someone who was signed into the NFL.

Steve Coughran: 11:35

I love that and isn't that amazing? And that should give somebody complete optimism to think, wow, I could do so many things and I can achieve my dreams just by being sober, and it's a new look on life. I remember like 20 years ago when I stopped drinking. I remember this exact moment where I was sitting on the shore of this lake up in the mountains and I was with my mom and we were camping and I remember sitting there, you know, throwing little rocks into the lake, totally discouraged, my head down. You know tears going down my face and I was like mom, you know, like this is a total redo of my life.

Steve Coughran: 12:09

And when I get back home because I committed that I wasn't going to drink ever again, you know it was like the friends that I have. You know the routines going out on Wednesday, thursday night, my social circles, all that I have to rethink because when my friends reach out, guess what they want to do. They want to go party, they want to go to the bars and clubs on Thursday. So when I say no, guess what, I'm excluded. And if I were to say to one of my friends at the time, they weren't really my friends, Steven. But if I were to say to them hey, do you want to just come

Steve Coughran: 12:44

over and like let's play a board game or let's watch a movie. They'd be like what the heck? You're a weirdo, you know. What I did is like I stopped going out with them because I didn't want to be around. You know those situations. And guess what? All my friends disappeared and at the time I was like so depressed because I lost all my so-called friends.

Steve Coughran: 12:58

But then I realized, as I was living this sober life, oh my gosh, I feel so much better in the morning I'm running, I'm exercising, my head's clear, I'm meeting people. I'm meeting people with similar backgrounds, with goals and aspirations, people who love Jesus Christ just like I do, and all these things started happening in my life and they came together to paint this beautiful picture. It doesn't mean the problems went away it's not problems, right but it just gave me this fresh look on life and I think that if somebody is listening to this, you're like, wow, that's a lot to give up, because we've done other episodes on that. It's a lot to give up. But it's also this clearing of bad habits to open the way for like reinvention in our lives.

Steven Ginsburg: 13:41

Right, amen, I, steve, I love it and and and I want to say this kind of as we head down the home stretch here yeah, it's a lot to give up, and then how about what a gift it is on what you truly get. You know so many conversations and I know this doesn't surprise you and you've heard this it's horrible, this is awful. I wish I wasn't this way. I wish I wasn't bodily and mentally different than my fellows. I wish I didn't. Okay, it's a disease. I wish I didn't have this disease.

Steven Ginsburg: 14:10

You know how about this? We are frigging superheroes. How about that? You have a superpower.

Steven Ginsburg: 14:17

It's called I mean, I believe it. It's called sobriety. I mean you know me about as well as anyone in this whole wide world knows me. I am grateful, blessed, not complacent, and love living a sober life. But I will tell you the things that I am called to do and where I feel I am being used and where my purpose is concerned and where I am in this world as a husband, as a father, as a friend, as a member of my community, where we live. The whole foundation of that is through my sobriety and I truly want everyone to embrace that and know that it's not lip service, it's not a pitch.

Steven Ginsburg: 14:58

Give yourself a chance. Take a moment and live this life and take a deep breath and see where you will be able to set yourself apart and realize we were chosen. How about this? You were chosen. You were handpicked to be clean and sober. Embrace that. It is so beautiful. You've got every color in the world. Get out there. The world needs us desperately and get fired up and know that this life is filled with purpose and meaning and it is right there, through your footwork, at your hands, a day at a time.

Steve Coughran: 15:32

Amen, I mean, you couldn't have said it better and I love just the reminder that we are chosen and we have these amazing know, these amazing gifts that have been granted to us and you know, life's beautiful if we make it that way. Steven, always great having a conversation with you.

Steven Ginsburg: 15:47

Appreciate you so much, the information's so relevant and anyone out there who is struggling. I'm getting emotional because I'm filled with gratitude today, but that's okay. Feelings would never kill me the drugs and alcohol would. If you are out there and you are struggling, you feel there is no hope. I will tell you there is every hope in the world. Just do your part and know that people like Steve and myself, we are here with you and for you in all things. Everyone, have a blessed and safe and sober day.